There are a couple of things that I find it hard to deal with in
this life. One is Math. And the other one is stuff that’s related to the heart.
However I can handle the toughest math question in the world and still be calm as
a zen priest afterward, but I can’t say the same to the other. Why is it so? It’s
a scary topic for me because I've had bad experience before. Still I had to at
least explain something. So I like this one guy and I’ve tried really, really
super hard not to harbor any feelings toward him but in the end I lost! I can’t
deny my feelings at all. Whenever he’s near me my heart would beat faster than
the speed of light. It’s been a long time since I felt this way about somebody
and I’m glad that I’m normal for the most part. I even made a mixtape/mix cd? and gave it to him (via a mutual friend of course
because I’m a wuss). I guess he was embarrassed by it because he didn’t say
anything or give any kind of response so I might not know how he feels about me
ever. Sad, but at the same time I find it to be relieving.
What I don’t understand is that, why him? O heart, why him? He lived
so far away from where I am and it’s so frustrating.
What makes him so special?
I don’t really know the answer to that. It’s weird. My heart is
weird. :\
I don’t really know him that well but I did hear stories about him
from my friend.
Maybe I like him because he’s kind? Soft spoken? (I like his voice
btw). Charming? CUTE??
Or maybe all of the above. Oh I feel like such a fangirl right now.
 |
| What my friend said... |
He’s quite popular among the ladies I must say and very sought after
by girls there. I never stood a chance. However, it’s really satisfying to
finally let it all out in the open. At least he now knows how I feel and I don’t
regret it. This tragedy (at least I think it was a tragedy) has awaken
something that I’ve never realized before deep inside and that is, I HAVE to be
happy. While I still have the chance. Be happy. Just be happy.
Be happy while I still can.
That guy now have my heart in his very hand at his disposal and he
probably won’t give it back to me. But I don’t blame him. He can do anything
with it, stomp on it, eat it, keep it, or hang it I don’t really mind one bit.
I just hope that he would remember me for a long long time. Please God, let me
stay in his memories at least for awhile more.
…
And now I’m hungry :(
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