Monday, September 29, 2014

Only for a moment and the moment's gone

Music: Kansas - Dust in the wind

I wish I could say that I have a lot of cool stories for you guys.
But unfortunately, that isn't the case.

I don't know.

I seriously don't know what happened.
I guess mid 2013 and 2014 has been a very weird, confusing and really hard for me.
Faced with so many rejections, and doors kept being slammed in my face over and over again.
I'm at this point where I can't see where I'm going anymore and I'm just speeding headfirst to the unknown.
If you've seen this movie, 'Rachel Getting Married', there's this scene where the character played by Anne Hathaway just crashes in the wood because she doesn't know where to turn.
It almost seems like neither left nor right is the correct way.
And the only possible way for her to go is straight up. 
I feel a lot like that lately.
I guess, I'm at the bottom of my life right now and it hurt so, so bad.
But life has to go on, whether I'm at the bottom or not. It has to move on.
There were times when I questioned things like maybe I'm on the brink and it's easier to just give up after all.
this is my life. Like it or not, life has to move on and this one is the one that I got.
What else could I do, I sure as hell can't control all of this.
Having said that,
I'm pretty hopeful.

Because hope is all I have, quite honestly.

I am being tested.
And all I can do is to be patient.