Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Matters of the heart

Current music: 'It takes a thought to make a word, And it takes some words to make an action'

There are a couple of things that I find it hard to deal with in this life. One is Math. And the other one is stuff that’s related to the heart. However I can handle the toughest math question in the world and still be calm as a zen priest afterward, but I can’t say the same to the other. Why is it so? It’s a scary topic for me because I've had bad experience before. Still I had to at least explain something. So I like this one guy and I’ve tried really, really super hard not to harbor any feelings toward him but in the end I lost! I can’t deny my feelings at all. Whenever he’s near me my heart would beat faster than the speed of light. It’s been a long time since I felt this way about somebody and I’m glad that I’m normal for the most part. I even made a mixtape/mix cd? and  gave it to him (via a mutual friend of course because I’m a wuss). I guess he was embarrassed by it because he didn’t say anything or give any kind of response so I might not know how he feels about me ever. Sad, but at the same time I find it to be relieving.

What I don’t understand is that, why him? O heart, why him? He lived so far away from where I am and it’s so frustrating.

What makes him so special?

I don’t really know the answer to that. It’s weird. My heart is weird. :\

I don’t really know him that well but I did hear stories about him from my friend.

Maybe I like him because he’s kind? Soft spoken? (I like his voice btw). Charming? CUTE??
Or maybe all of the above. Oh I feel like such a fangirl right now.

What my friend said...
He’s quite popular among the ladies I must say and very sought after by girls there. I never stood a chance. However, it’s really satisfying to finally let it all out in the open. At least he now knows how I feel and I don’t regret it. This tragedy (at least I think it was a tragedy) has awaken something that I’ve never realized before deep inside and that is, I HAVE to be happy. While I still have the chance. Be happy. Just be happy.

Be happy while I still can.

That guy now have my heart in his very hand at his disposal and he probably won’t give it back to me. But I don’t blame him. He can do anything with it, stomp on it, eat it, keep it, or hang it I don’t really mind one bit. I just hope that he would remember me for a long long time. Please God, let me stay in his memories at least for awhile more.

And now I’m hungry :(

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