Of space, time and regrets.

Music: Johann Strauss II - The Blue Danube Waltz

Theoretically speaking, if I have a TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimension in Space)  

or any machine that is, that has the capacity to bend time and space, 

I would probably go back to my childhood

and study like there’s no tomorrow. 

...

Or probably I won’t. 

Who knows.

I’m quite unpredictable in my actions as a child.

All joking aside though, I’d do just that. 

Study and be smart enough so I can pursue my dream 

to become an astronomer, or an astrophysicist, or a biologist. 

Become a contributor, not just a receiver.

Growing up I am not exactly a genius but I am different. 

I remember that I like to read a lot. 

Mostly stuff about space and the cosmos, 

as well as about famous people like Newton and Galileo. 

I think I’m the only person in my class 

that wrote down astronomer as a dream career. 

I was frickin' eleven years old.

Oh, sweet naïve me. 

I feel like slapping some sense 

into that sweet naïve me, if I could. 

Yes, that’s probably the first thing I do once I travel back in time.

Slap myself senseless in the face. 

And then study very hard.

Sadly, there’s no such thing as a TARDIS. 

Or a time machine. 

Or time bending.

And one more thing.

I don’t think I would want to go through puberty… AGAIN!

Once. Is. Enough. Thanks.

Oh look, a Pink one. Yay! (Always travel in style, kids)

So, what's your biggest regret?

Isn't that Crazy?

Music:           In a sky full of people, only some want to fly. Isn't that crazy?

Salam everyone.

I'm in a deep thinking mode right now, with all that's been happening in Malaysia lately.
There are a few headlines that I would say, might be of concern to the public.
And I trust that these are the only things that people have been talking about.

Here's some of it:

• The missing Malaysia Airlines jetliner, Flight MH370.
• Haze.
• The death of 6 music festival goers caused by drug OD.
• The by-elections in Kajang and Balingian.

But since I'm no political expert, I'm not even gonna delve into that last topic on the list.
There are of course better references and sources for that out there.

The missing aircraft, MH370.
Now this has raised 1001 questions over what exactly could have happened to it. 
It's a puzzle especially to experts as to how it could disappear without a trace,
and what's more important to me is...

Are the passengers and crew alright?

There are of course countless theories and speculations on the internet.
But I don't want to indulge in those because in the end, theories are only as good as theories are until some solid evidence can prove it wrong.
Unfortunately I have no theories of my own. 
And the rest of the world might think that this is like some kind of a bad B-rated movie with a bad plot. 
I assure you, we Malaysians are deeply concerned.
This could either end very well or in tragedy. 
I'm really hoping it to end in a good way, with no casualties.

Regarding the death of the six festival music attendees due to meth overdose,
I have no comment on the matter.
Enough to know that people are taking notice on the problem.
I mean, I know that there are some way more hardcore rock concerts/gigs out there that were drugs and alcohol free...
And in the end, it all depends on the individual, doesn't it? 
But please, I have no intention of disgracing anyone. 
Because I know they have families.
Enough with the dissing.
Instead why don't we all discuss ways to prevent this from spreading. 
Because this could happen to anyone.
Just because it doesn't happen to your family now,
it doesn't mean it can't happen in the future.
Now there's something (scary) to think about...

Call me old fashioned,
but never in a million years would I thought drugs were cool.
Ever.

Kids, don't take drugs.

Please.

Orororo!

Music: As the world falls apart around us, all we can do is hold on, hold on...

I've been having a very 'Samurai-ny' weekend, watching and reading Rurouni Kenshin related stuff. 

I can't put into words how much I love it.

I started to follow this series when I was fifteen. 
It was showing every Saturday morning on the tv and like every normal kids who loves anime do, I was hooked.
I love every character especially Kenshin and Kaoru. Yes. I am a romantic at heart.
I just can't help it. 
On my most loved anime/manga couple list, they are at the very very top.
I must admit though that this series, particularly Kenshin's character, must be the most depressing in the history of manga/anime-hood. 
I mean, if you've seen Reflection OVA... with that ending.
His life is so frigging sad and depressing from start to end...
But,
I have one burning question that I can't seem to find the answer to.
Tomoe.
What about her?
Well, I can't decide whether I hate or don't hate her.
I mean, I'm all about Kenshin Kaoru pairing, and I love Kaoru to bits you have no idea.
Before y'all preach me about the importance of her existence for Kenshin's actions in his future, let me make one thing clear.
It's not like I hate her for being Kenshin's first love, but I hate her because I don't have anything to hate her for. 
It's annoying...
Tomoe just got caught up in the middle of all the chaos. It's not her fault, I know that.
But that's also the reason why I don't like her very much.
Err...
I'm a terrible person, I know.
It's just that I was introduced to Kaoru first, I get to know her and love her character and only learned about Tomoe and Kenshin's history later in the series so I feel bad for Kaoru.
I think I just found my revelation about Tomoe.
I feel bad for Kaoru, that's all.
Ahah! I don't really hate Tomoe. Not at all.
Mygad! It's so hard to be an Otaku.
Not that I want to be one, mind you! I just love this series.
Now I really want to hit Kenshin in the head for making me say 'otaku' and turning me into such a big dork of a fangirl.
 
Megumi was right, Kenshin is sorta bad for the heart.

Anyway, come August this year the new Rurouni Kenshin live action movie will be out!
Yay!
Sessha cannot wait, de gozaru! (Well done, way to butcher the english language)

 ^_____^"
 

Should this life sometime deceive you...

Should this life sometime deceive you, 
Don't be sad or mad at it! 
On a gloomy day, submit: 
Trust - fair day will come, why grieve you? 
Heart lives in the future, so 
What if gloom pervade the present? 
All is fleeting, all will go; 
What is gone will then be pleasant. 

                                                                  - Alexander Pushkin, 1825


Brighter days will come. 

Have faith,
and most importantly,

trust.

:)
 

We're just two lost souls

Hey! 

So a few days ago, I recorded a cover of Pink Floyd's Wish you were here song. 

I totally love this song because it rocks! Definitely one of my all time favorites.

It was also fun and easy to play on the guitar.

And I just gotta make a cover, thus ruining it...

I guess? 

Sorry! :/  

Anyway I still don't have a mic and the sound was pretty lousy. 

Sorry about that too! :/

You can't fix what's not broken yet.

Current music: It's more than you, and it's more than I, but it's more.

Is it possible to die of a broken heart?
Because I think I might soon.

I wish that there's a user manual somewhere out there to show me how to reset all feelings. I wanna forget. Towards certain things... well things mostly. Or someone. I just don't want to remember anymore. 

Sometimes I think I got issues. 

Because I'm just so keen of holding on to things (or someone) for far too long when I know that it (or that somebody) is far too lost to be saved. And along the way I'm hurting more and more, getting depressed, sad, lonely, angry, confused and just all around messed up. But God knows how much I like him. I mean, I… don’t know what I mean! One minute I’m so in love and the next minute I’m full of hate and I just can’t function like I’m supposed to whenever it comes to that person! And I don’t even know what we are. And what I should do with all these feels because I’m sure as hell can’t throw it at him. I reckon that he would not know how to deal with it and will keep on pretending, playing along with whatever the hell we are as if it’s nothing. Because I can see it. His heart is not true. I’m so sick of being played on and on and over again. It’s like a loop, recursive endless place where I’m in. Trying to get the hell out. Leave. But I don’t know how. And I wish that something could just tell me what to do. A sign, signal, warning… anything!

 

And the worst thing out of all this is that I have a tendency to be so damn imaginative and started to play out scenes and make-believe about things that I’m not even sure whether is truthful or not. Because regardless of how much my heart wanted it to be so, his heart is not true. And I could get hurt seriously bad.

I don’t want this anymore. Whatever ‘this’ is. I don’t want it. 

Not anymore.

But…

Letting go is so damn hard to do. 

God, have mercy on me.

 

Of knights and nightmares

Currently listening to: "Only love can bring the rain. That falls like tears. From on high."

Sometimes I hate my own voice. I’ve always think that it’s too tiny and sharp and high and somewhat annoying. You know, almost identical to the sound of mice. A friend of mine actually said that my voice sounded like Mickey Mouse once too. We always talked on the phone and so I guess my voice annoyed her one day so she said it. I was positive though she didn’t mean to be hateful or anything, in fact I do agree with her. That I sounded like Mickey Mouse.

Maybe that’s one of the reason's why I don’t talk much. Hah!

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m home! Yippie yay! I really really am glad to be back home and be with the family again. 

Now, the next challenge is to find a job. And maybe, in shaa Allah settle down?

Oh. I forgot. 

I don’t think he exist. This mythical knight in shining armor riding on a white horse. 

That ‘supposedly’ guy of mine.

Because he’s stuck somewhere in the middle ages still.

Finding a job however, is both a nightmare and daymare! But mom said, you cannot rush and force things to happen. It doesn’t work that way. IF it will happen, it WILL happen. By God’s will. I just have to keep on trying and have some faith. 

Then again, nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy.

Am I right, or am I right? :)

Keep calm and carry on.

Currently listening to: "we can't help but feel that something has been lost"

There's something in the air that reminded me of Bintulu. It's that smell of something that's constantly burning mixed with chems... Yes folks, it's that time of the year again, the hazing season.

Anyway the car finally broke down and I have to take the bus to UPM. Boy, you have no idea how tiring it was.

I really love the journey but I don't like the waiting. Believe me when I said that if I don't have to wait so much, I would prefer to use the public transportation.

In this life it seems like all we ever do is wait. And after that we wait some more. And wait and wait and wait.

But whatever right? We have to move on.

No matter how.

 

Faith

Currently listening to:  Something's wrong, something's wrong, when it all remains the same. So  face the fire, come into your name.

There was a fire today in Sibu. It hit one of Sibu's oldest, original kampung melayu Sarawak. I was very sad about it. I may not be one of the residence but I always pass by the area that it would seem strange not being able to see it as it is. As if something is missing, not whole like it was supposed to. I hope that the people will lend help because they do really need it. I wish I could help too though. But wishing alone is not enough. I don't know what to do except saying my prayers on those affected by this tragedy. Be strong.

By the way, I will be finishing up my studies hopefully by this week. Tomorrow I will sit for my very last final exam paper ever. This is it... all of what I've been struggling for will end tomorrow. All that's left is for me to wait for my thesis to be approved and bind it for good. For good...

But, what will I be after this? That question has been bothering me a lot for the past couple of months. Honestly, I don't know. I really don't know. 

...

All I know is that I wanna close this chapter of my life with nothing but pleasant thoughts and feelings. All the people I've met and learned to love, hopefully will remember me as I remembered them. 

I could literally break down and cry while typing all these words. Please excuse me. 

For good.

This time it's for good...

"The boy has gone, let's grieve and let him go.
He left at dawn, but it's a new day don't you know?"

A new journey awaits...
In shaa Allah.
Have faith Nora dear.
His plan is always the best.