Wednesday, April 7, 2010

This is dumb

Currently... : I'm reading claymore 102
Current location: somewhere between Thailand and the South China Sea...go figure
Current music: Out of sight, out of mind, out of reach, start over... is no way to begin...

It's 3.16 am right now, and I have class at 8 am...gasp! Why do I stay up so late??? I don't know the answer to that myself... maybe I'm just dumb... I don't know... I'm tired.

So today, I just realize something. We have a motivational speak by one of our dear lecturer and one of the motivation speaker or trainee said something that struck me pretty deep... every moment we faced with a choice. It's either we take it or we don't... but every choice is MY choice...get it? It's like every wrong turns or bad decisions or if we find ourselves in a bad situations, sometimes we blame other people and make up lots of excuses unaware that actually there is no one else to blame but ourselves. So why do I study? That's one of the question that he asked us. What's the purpose to go to university and be a student? It's a simple question but try answering that yourself... Why and for what purpose did you DECIDED to do the things you do.

I'm not exceptionally clever or anything like that, in fact far from it. I'm humble because of it, so I would like to say that I do regret some of the past decision that I take earlier in life, and I have no one to blame but me. I should have and could have done much much better if only I realized it sooner then. But, I can't regret what I can't see in the is my decision so I better go with it and do my best. Yes, it's going to be a thorny road where I'm going, yes, I might be lost somewhere along the line and yes, I don't know whether I can stay on-board the ship and reach my destination safely or not...but I do know that every single thing in my life is due to MY choice, and no one else...

So I've gotta stop making excuses, stop feeling sorry for myself and stop being miserable just because things don't go my way because I'll never be who I wanted to be if I keep doing all that, and I want to be a great person, insyaAllah...

This is dumb, and I said dumb twice already, and I'm ranting and no one cares anyway. So, I'm signing off! Later!

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